Body-Performance\/Installation<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Show 15.08.2004 at Peripheral Visions: CESTA’s 10-year anniversary Summer in Tabor, CZ<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The body of a woman \u2013 captured between physical reality and projections: Her body is not a unit anymore, is dismembered into single parts. First speechless, she refinds words and starts to raise her voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
toert and xingxing at work:
xingxing (performance, words, images, installation)
toert (sound, images, installation)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being silent did not protect me.\nSilence is consent.\nSo I decided to break the silence. Break the silence.\nOdoma bongiri bongiri\nBreaking the silence means starting to feel myself, my body.\nExploring my physical landscape.\nWaking up.I always felt divided into two parts, disconnected, uprooted.\nI like and accept the upper part of my body.\nMy hands are probably too big for a woman, but it is useful to have strong hands for giving and taking.\nIn my Yoga-center I realized that I am the sole woman with hair in my armpits.\nI was tempted to shave it, because I did not want to be different. But I like it.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nYes, I have dreams and I want them to come true.*<\/pre>\n\n\n\nWhen I was a kid, I learned, that a girl has to be beautiful to be loved.
Everybody told me, that I am intelligent.
So I learned fast, that I am not beautiful.
A destructive loop started, something whispering in my head:<\/pre>\n\n\n\nYou are not beautiful.
You have this.
You don\u00b4t have that.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nAnyway, I like my chest. It is part of the upper part of my body.
But here\u00b4s the border: the navel - my center.
I hate the lower part of my body.
I am a woman cut off in her center, cut off in her center, cut off in her center.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nOnce I had an accident. I fractured my spine right away in the middle.
Suddenly my body really was broken into two parts.
I recognized that the only important thing is a whole working body.
It doesn\u00b4t matter how it looks.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nAnd I did it. The dream became true: one beautiful body.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nBut then the spirit of Barbie returned, whispering\n\u201ebelly too fat, hips too fat, ass as well, thighs too huge, everything wobbling.\u201c\nRecently I saw a photo of myself, when I was twelve years old. It showed a sweet young slim girl.\nBut I remember so well, that I was desperate about my fat legs.\nCan perception create reality?\nBecause now \u2013 25 years later \u2013 I really have got legs like an elefant.\nDid I succeed to create them?\nI heard, that peacocks are screaming so horribly, just because they find their legs so ugly. I feel like a peacock.\nFormless.\nIf perception can create reality, I will create the reality, I want to have.\nI create myself.\nEnjoying the power of my belly.\nRespecting the strength of my legs connecting myself to earth.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nYes, I have dreams and I want them to come true.<\/pre>\n\n\n\nThrow off fear and shame.\nRefind forgotten familiarity.\nStrike the right note. Give the keynote.\nFeel safe and free.\nMoving on into the unknown, until life becomes my dream.<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
*credits: I borrowed this sentence from the Austrian band Extended Versions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Body-Performance\/Installation Show 15.08.2004 at Peripheral Visions: CESTA’s 10-year anniversary Summer in Tabor, CZ The body of a woman \u2013 captured between physical reality and projections: Her body is not a unit anymore, is dismembered into single parts. First speechless, she refinds words and starts to raise her voice. toert and xingxing at work:xingxing (performance, words, images,…<\/p>\n